by Cassie Howard | Dec 20, 2016 | Blogging |
I spent all of yesterday completely offline (for the most part), something I never do, to try and deal with the loss of our precious pooch. It wasn’t the being offline part that was hard for me. What was hard was dealing with the overwhelming sadness and trying not to let it completely take over. I remember lying with my husband, crying, and I just said “I don’t know how to be happy right now”, like I was trying to force myself to “get over it” and be happy already. I was so impatient with myself. He responded with the exact words I needed to hear: “then just be sad for now, you’re allowed to be sad“. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to be sad. I had to allow myself to feel that feeling, as much as I didn’t want to. I knew that if I resisted it, if I tried to push those feelings of sadness away, that they would come back and destroy me later. So I was sad. All day. I tried to distract myself with happy Christmas movies and gift wrapping, but it was temporary. As soon as the movies were over and the wrapping was done, I was sad again. I laid in bed and cried for over an hour. I cried every time I walked past something that reminded me of our big, crazy dog we had to let go of earlier that morning. By 6 in the evening, my body was begging me to go to sleep. I forgot just how physically exhausting it is to...
