A little over a year ago, I sat down to write a really vulnerable post & email that I was not only going to send to my community, but also to my friends and family.
I was scared.
Nervous.
Second-guessing.
Thinking maybe this wasn’t such a good idea afterall. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and say nothing.
But something inside of me pushed me to go through with sharing this part of my story, the part of my story that I was SURE would turn people against me, but also the part of my story that I knew people needed to hear.
More specifically, I knew ONE person who needed to hear it. I knew that it would impact ONE person’s life in a positive way. I didn’t know who they were, but I was sharing my story for THEM.
As I finally mustered up the courage to WRITE, to be open, honest and vulnerable, I spilled my guts and let EVERYTHING out. I made it very clear that although I may appear as this “nice” girl who is super shy, I have a wild side and I’m NOT as nice as you think I am.
I was hiding this “secret” for almost 8 years and now, I was ready to share it. Not for me. Not for anyone in particular. But for that ONE person, whoever she was, that I KNEW needed to hear me say that –
HEY, I WAS IN PORN! I LOVED IT AND I AM PROUD OF THE FACT THAT THIS WAS SOMETHING I DID WITH ME LIFE.
As soon as I got the words out, I shared it right away and turned off the laptop. I had to let this content fly out into the cyber world and do what I knew it would.
Change lives.
I didn’t know how, but I just KNEW I needed to share this part of my story. I knew I needed to stop hiding it. Because really? I wasn’t at all ashamed that this is something I did in the past. I wasn’t embarassed. But I knew that this would offend some people, make them think badly of me, and ultimately have them running for the hills.
What I didn’t realize at the time, is that them running for the hills was actually a good thing.
Because the wrong people don’t resonate and the right people do.
The wrong people don’t agree with your beliefs.
The wrong people don’t love you for who you truly are.
The wrong people are judgy assholes.
The wrong people think YOU did something wrong.
The wrong people always disagree with everything you say.
The wrong people are annoying as hell.
Fuck the wrong people.
Let them hate. Let them talk shit. Let them run for the hills.
Because the wrong people don’t resonate and the right people do.
The right people agree with everything you say.
The right people love you for who you truly are.
The right people think everything you say is genius.
The right people tell all their friends about how awesome you are.
The right people buy from you over and over.
The right people are impacted in a positive way by your words and actions.
The right people are like FRIENDS you just want to have a giant sleepover with every night.
I got it. I get it now.
I was trying to impress the WRONG people AND the RIGHT people. No wonder my mindset was so fucked up! No wonder I was so scared to just be who I am. No wonder I was terrified to say what I knew needed to be said. Because I knew the WRONG people wouldn’t like it.
And I didn’t want them to not like me.
You see, deep down, I just want you to like me. I want you to know I’m a good person. I want you to know that I’m smart, loyal and trustworthy. I want you to know that I’m a good friend and that I’ve got your back.
And I want you to know that porn is one of the best things that ever happened to me!
The porn industry is where I learned all about how to run a successful business.
The porn industry is where I gained massive confidence in myself, my body, my SELF.
The porn industry is where I gained the skills needed to make SERIOUS money as an entrepreneur.
The porn industry is where I learned how to take great photos. (I was both a model AND a photographer.)
The porn industry is where I made so many new friends that I’m still in contact with today (the porn industry is NOT filled with creeps and weirdos, but NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE, believe it or not).
The porn industry was a springboard to aquire the knowledge needed to run my motherfucking empire.
And I am grateful I had the opportunity to be in this business for as long as I was.
I knew sharing this story was important. I did it. And I walked away and did something else so that I was distracted and couldn’t change my mind. And when I came back a few hours later, there were so many comments and messages that I was seriously afraid to read them. But I did. And what I saw was this –
There were so many POSITIVE responses to my post that I was in tears. Over 70 comments from people telling me they had a new level of respect for me (just for being open and honest), that I was their new woman crush (best comment ever) and even how I had inspired them to share THEIR story.
I received dozens of private messages as well, where people didn’t want to post publicly, but wanted me to know that I inspired themand made them realize that THEIR story is important and not to be ashamed of it.
And of course, I received nasty comments and messages as well. One of my clients considered firing me because it went against her beliefs as a Christian. (She didn’t and accepts me for who I am.)
But I knew that sharing this was important.
I knew that I had to face my fears of being disliked by some so I could be loved by others.
I knew that I had to find my RIGHT people.
The point is –
You need to be you. You need to share YOU. That’s what your RIGHT people want.
They will not judge you.
They will not hate you.
They will not disappear.
They will not run for the hills.
But instead –
They will love you even more than they already do. They will have a new level of respect for you. They will feel a stronger connection to you. They will feel like you’re FRIENDS. They will BE your friends.
What is the best way to connect with your audience, have them fall madly in love with you, buy on repeat and tell all their friends about you?
SHARE YOUR STORY.
All of it. Leave no holes. Nothing is hidden.
Be vulnerable. Be raw. Be open and honest. I learned very quickly that this is what people want. This is what connects them with you and builds a tribe of people that just GET you. That love you. That are YOUR people.
So share.
Today.
Tomorrow.
And every day.
Because what you have to say is important. What you have to say matters.
Your story will change lives. Including your own.