FUCK IT ALL, I QUIT. I just can’t do it anymore.

I’ve noticed recently that I’ve been doing a lot of stuff that I don’t really want to do, because I felt like I needed to do it. 

Which I find frustrating, yet funny, because this is something I preach about all the freakin’ time – 

STOP DOING SHIT YOU HATE

But clearly I’m not that great at taking my own advice because here I was, doing shit I hated. I was talking to people I couldn’t stand. I was saying things to make people feel better instead of saying things that they actually needed to hear.

And I even felt a bit self-concious with YOU, thinking I needed to write a certain way, speak a certain way, be a certain way, otherwise you’d get bored with me and leave, and go follow someone else. Which is embarassing to even admit here, but it’s the truth.

All to say – 

I’m human. I fuck up. All the time, do I fuck up!

I’ve been feeling this feeling deep in my gut over the last few weeks that I needed to change my life in some ways. My energy was shifting. I was allowing in negativity. I was forcing myself to do things that I didn’t really want to be doing. 

I’ve been going against a lot of the shit that’s SO obvious. I’ve been flaking out on myself. I’ve been letting my desires slip. I’ve been slacking – 

Not in the work.
Oh no, never the work.
I ALWAYS show up and do the work.

The emails
The messages
The calls
The sales
The offers
The trainings
The writing
The speaking
The responding
The tech shit
The admin stuff
The journaling
The money work

I

DO

IT

ALL

EVERY DAY.

That is not the problem. The problem is that I’ve been doing things in addition to those things that just didn’t feel right. 

I’ve allowed someone to work for me who I truly felt was the wrong fit but kept her on because she made my life easier. 

I’ve worked with a client I really cannot stand and who’s negative energy was depleating me, because I didn’t want to come off as though I couldn’t help her/as stupid/as inconsiderate/of mean.

I’ve spent countless hours browsing Facebook and Instagram and comparing myself to those who are ahead of me, using the excuse that I wanted to be inspired, when really I was just feeling like a jealous bitch wishing failure for these people.

My energy has been so fucking negative for weeks now – 

And yeah, off and on, I’m super high-vibe again – 

But then it quickly fades… usually when I look at my to-do list and see a heap of tasks I have to do just because I once told myself I HAD to. 

I’ve been making it hard on myself.. I’ve been making the process stressful, overwhelming, frustrating, and a giant pain in my ass, where even this morning I had the feeling of FUCK IT ALL, I QUIT.

I just can’t do it anymore. 

I just can’t do this shit that makes me so angry, so annoyed, so fucking angry that I have to deal with stupid people on a daily basis. 

And so – 

I’m done. Not this work; I’ll never be done this work of sharing my message! But I’m done making it hard. I’m done telling myself that it has to be done a certain way just because that’s how so and so does it and look at him, he’s a billionaire mogul! 

I’m done being angry.

I’m done making excuses for myself. 

I’m done allowing people in my life that have no business being in it. 

It’s time to purge. To cleanse. To release – 

ALL of the negativity. 
ALL of the bad vibes.
ALL of the “must dos”.

And I’m just gonna be me. Doing what I want, when I want, how I want. Because I’ve never liked following the rules anyway. 🙂

Don’t you hate how every-fucking-one sounds the same online? How everyone is saying the same thing, doing the same thing, creating the same thing? Don’t you NOTICE how it makes you feel whe you recognize these things? It’s nauseating. Can no one just be FUCKING DIFFERENT? 

We need to embrace our individuality.

We need to go AGAINST the grain.

We need to block out every single god damn person from our life sometimes, so we can go inside and see who WE really are, and then unleash THAT person on the world.

We need to have Netflix binges and BE OKAY WITH IT. 
We need to eat a tub of ice cream and french fries for dinner and ENJOY EVERY CALORIE.
We need to take 2 hour naps in the afternoon and NOT FEEL GUILTY.
We need to say HELL FUCKING NO to someone that wants to give us money that is going to deplete us of our high-vibe energy.
We need to spend a ton of money on shit that makes us HAPPY, regardless of what anyone else thinks of those INVESTMENTS.

We need to release the tension, release the fears, release the scarcity – 

And we need to just BE.

Because let’s face it – 

There’s nothing more inspiring and motivating than seeing someone else show up, get paid to be themselves, and really, TRULY enjoying the fuck out of their life. Do you agree?