I can’t be the only person who feels uncomfortable doing nothing can I?
I see people just sitting around.. people watching, watching TV (the news… OMG!), talking to each other about the weather (seriously? you have nothing else to talk about?), laying on the beach.. and it just makes my skin crawl. It makes me physically sick to my stomach. Not that other people are doing it, but just the thought of me doing it..
Nope. Can’t do it. I can’t just do nothing. My soul starts to cry. It starts screaming at me –
GET UP!
DO SOMETHING!
MOVE!
SPEAK!
OPEN YOUR DAMN MOUTH!
I need to be doing. I need to be moving. I need to be living.
Sitting still is not living to me. Not that I don’t love to rest from time to time. And I DO have my daily 15 minute “thinking time” ritual, where I force myself to sit still and do nothing for a MAX of 15 minutes to allow me to tune in to my inner self and discover any guidance that may be coming through.
But other than that, I’m busy.
This is why I tend to say NO to a lot of requests to spend time with people. If you ask me to hang out and I say yes, consider yourself one of the chosen few. Not many people get a YES from me when it comes to “hanging out”. If I know you won’t judge me (and may actually ENCOURAGE me) for being on my phone/computer/journal while we’re together, you’re likely to get a yes. 🙂
Because no, I don’t want to sit around and talk for hours.
No, I don’t want to lay around and relax.
No, I don’t want to watch a movie.
No no no no no. Please stop making me say no.
Not you, though. I know you wouldn’t do that. I know you’re just like me (otherwise why are you here…?). I know you get it!
Isn’t it crazy just how different we are from everyone else? Look around. 99% of people are NOTHING like you, like me, like US.
I feel bad that people are seemingly wasting their time, their gifts, their message that they HAVE inside of them but are choosing to delay saying (if they even say it at all). I’m at a cafe in Charlston right now and I’ve been here for 2 hours - 90 minutes of that I’ve been journaling, writing, and chatting with my clients. Could I just sit and enjoy the place? Sure. Could I go find a park, hang out there and watch everyone around me? Sure. Could I strike up a conversation with someone? Sure.
But will I?
Not a god damn chance.
Because I can’t. Because I’m in my own head. I’m doing what my soul tells me to do. I’m following my intuition. And my intuition is to ALWAYS speak, say the words the world needs to hear, to be the messenger, to forego whatever I feel as though I SHOULD do and just do what I know I MUST do.
Speak it. Live it. Give it.
Everything. To you. To those that are listening. To those who need to hear the message that is flowing through me.
I always start the day and ask my inner self to give me the words I’m meant to say. I NEVER know that to say, ever. But when I ask my inner being =
What are the words I must say today? What is the message I am being called to deliver?
They flow. They come out with ease. And I speak it, write it, deliver it however I must. But if I don’t? If I choose to relax, take a break, sleep longer, do something else instead of first getting the words out? Those words start to take over and I can’t think clearly. I can’t function. I feel physically ill. (TRUTH. No exaggeration.)
And so I must. I must get the words out. Regardless of what else is happening. Regardless of what I FEEL.
The
words
must
come
out.
And they must come out NOW.
If you’re wondering how I create so much, how I show up every day and always have something to say, it’s this:
I OPEN MY MOUTH AND LET THE WORDS FLOW OUT.
No structure. No plans. No strategy.
Often I talk too much. Often I say things that are offensive. Often I am a big mouth. Often I don’t make a whole lot of sense. Often I make spelling and grammatical errors when I write. Often it sounds like gibberish.
But always –
Fucking ALWAYS –
The words come out.
And do you want to know what else?
Every time the words come out, I change someone’s life. I feel even a little bit egotistical saying that, but I believe it. I believe that my words hold the power to change someone’s life. Even the simple words. Even the words that seem so insignificant. Those words have the power to change someone’s life forever. You MUST say them.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend about her wanting to start selling in a way that has never been done before, but she was scared because she didn’t think people would be okay with that method of selling. I told her exactly this: “stop being so fucking ridiculous and just do it, don’t be a pussy” (I’m a good friend, I know, you don’t have to remind me that I have a way with words haha).
She responded with “gee thanks for being so nice about it”. I think she was pissed. The next day she messaged me back and said “you were right, I love you, thank you for allowing me to see the light, this feels so right and you’re the only one who has encouraged me to do it”.
I believe the reason my friends are my friends, why my clients are my clients, and why people follow me in general is because I don’t give a fuck if you like me. I just want you to be better. I just want you to do the work you were put on this earth to do. I just want you to stop wasting your life doing anything other than that. I just want the best for you. I want to tell people that I know you and feel PROUD to say that I know you.
My clients often tell me that at some point during our time working together, they didn’t like me. I said something that triggered them, hurt their feelings in the moment, or embarassed them. And then they say “but you were right”. 🙂 And it makes me feel SO good knowing that I have changed a life, if only a tiny bit.
It means something.
Don’t you want your words to mean something.
Don’t you want your life to have meaning?
Don’t you want to die knowing that you made a difference in the lives of others? In the world?
You can. You should. You MUST.
You know there’s no other way. Your soul is screaming for you to say the words, to be the person you’ve always been afraid to be. Don’t be afraid anymore. The world needs you. People need to hear your words. The world needs to know you. Really, truly know you.
You are needed.
Speak up and share your truth. Live it. Breath it. Be it. Always.