There’s only so many times you can make the same mistake and stop learning from it. You just keep doing the same thing over and over, and you KNOW you’re hurting yourself by doing it, but yet..
You keep going on. You keep making the same mistake, repeatedly.
After awhile, it starts to become a habit and you no longer learn from it, which is the worst part because then it’s going to be extra hard for you to break that habit and actually do what you know you NEED to do instead.
Mistakes are important. Without making mistakes from time to time, we would never learn. We would never grow. We would never be able to understand ourselves and the choices and decisions we make. And so I ENCOURAGE you to make mistakes. I encourage you to embrace failure..
Because behind every “failure” is a hidden lesson. If you can identify that lesson and learn from it, you will never make that mistake again, and you’ll be a better person because of this fact.
How many mistakes are you allowing yourself (whether consciously or subconsciously) to make? How many times are you going to allow yourself to make those same mistakes before you finally snap out of it, learn your lesson, and move on?
And while we’re on the topic of mistakes.. what if what you THINK is a mistake, is actually a blessing in disguise?
Just last week I made the decision to not watch Netflix for all of September (a big weakness of mine) and instead watch training videos. Seemed like an easy swap. Instead of watching a TV show about a made-up life, I could watch a training on sales or on mindset or on leadership or on .. whatever. As soon as October is back, I can watch some Netflix again.
I’d set this “goal” before. No Netflix for a month. But I didn’t stick with it.
And this time, I didn’t stick with it. Yesterday I watched 2 hours of Netflix. TWO HOURS. I could have accomplished and/or learned SO much in 2 hours had I not been indulging in too much “Offspring” on Netflix. And the saddest part is that while I was watching it, I felt remorse. But I couldn’t pull myself away. I figured “I already started the episode.. gotta finish it now!”, and then another…
I felt bad.
I felt guilty.
I felt embarassed.
But I realized something this morning when I was thinking about this habit that I have: It’s actually a form of pleasure for me. It’s not about just watching a TV show. It’s giving my brain something else to focus on. I usually do this when I’m feeling stuck on something in my business. Instead of doing somthing to “clear my head”, I need to fill my head with more stuff. Different stuff. Unrelated stuff.
And from there, I get a different perspective on the area I’m feeling stuck. And I’m able to more easily solve the problem(s) I have.
I’m able to relax. Get clear. Get focused. And from there, take action.
So maybe Netflix ain’t a bad idea afterall… just not every day! 🙂
But! If you have a REAL issue, a REAL mistake that you are making each day that you know is, in fact, truly HURTING you, then you’ve gotta stop. This is a “rip the bandaid” kind of situation. You’ve just gotta STOP and you need to stop NOW. Not next week, not tomorrow, not even after lunch. Right freakin’ NOW.
No excuses.
Here’s an exercise I use to get back on track when I’ve been self-sabbotaging with my mistakes:
STEP #1: Identify the self-sabbotaging behaviour.
This is usually pretty obvious, but sometimes it isn’t and you may need to actually ask yourself “how am I sabbotaging myself right now?” or in a more specific way “how am I sabbotaging my money-making abilities right now?”, stay quiet, and really listen closely for the answer(s) that come.
STEP #2: Really acknowledge how this behaviour is hurting you.
Get honest with yourself when you look at these sabbotaging habits & behaviours are making your life worse, not better. These are your “pain points”. This is where you make YOURSELF feel like shit for a little bit, as that’s the best way to really have this sink in and get you understanding how you’re being hurt by participating in this kind of behaviour.
STEP #3: Acknowledge how you want to feel & what to do.
Instead of feeling guilty, ashamed, emabarassed, etc. - how do you actually WANT to feel? What kind of behaviours can you instill right now to start feeling that way? What are you committing to doing in order to ensure you ALWAYS feel that way, every day?
STEP #4: Prepare your brain for success.
Write out at least a dozen new affirmations for how you feel, how you’re acting, how your life is changing and improving, thanks to these new behaviours. Let your brain know what’s about to happen. Get yourself into the mindset of having already achieved success, because if you keep these new behaviours up, it WILL happen, and quickly!
And finally –
STEP #5: Take the right actions each day.
Be aware that you’ll automatically start taking part in your self-sabbotaging behavior right away, without even thinking, and know that you need to be able to identify when this is about to happen so you can stop if before it does. From there, ask yourself: “What can I do right now that will help me in achieveing the success that I want?”, and take THAT action instead.
When you’re aware of your negative behaviours
When you know how you respond to those behaviours
And when you make decisions to choose NEW behaviours if the old ones don’t serve you
Only then will you be able to change, to improve, and ultimately, to succeed.
It starts within. It will probably be hard. It will probably take a bit of time to get used to acting in a new way. It will probably come with some bumps in the road.
But it will work. It will help. And you will be better off because of doing this work. That’s a promise. 🙂